Sometimes I feel like I'm watching my life happen. I know that sounds dumb, but I just feel like I'm standing on the other side of the window. I can see everything as it's happening, I can see the things that I'm doing and I can hear the things that I'm saying. but at the same time, I can hear my thoughts. but the thought that I'm hearing aren't the same as the thoughts as the me that's watching through the window.
so I'm standing there and I'm watching everything happen and I'm screaming at this girl in front of me that I hardly recognize. I'm telling her the things that she should be saying the things that she should be doing and instead, this person in front of me, says or does something completely different.
and now I'm angry. I'm angry because I'm here. I'm banging on the class and I'm screaming at the top of my lungs. But there is this fog over the window. and it's so thick and it's so dark that I don't think she can hear me.
But sometimes I think she does and I can almost feel her trying to clear the fog away.but she's so weak. and I think that if I could just touch her, just a whisper of a touch, it would be enough.but every time she gives up. because when you're this far lost it is so much easier to give into the darkness that is pulling you back than to fight against it.
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